Burying Our Dead

A Moral Imperative for Memorial Day 5785/2025

In the military cemetery of my home town, Kfar Saba, in the center of the country, about 15 miles northeast of Tel-Aviv, 5 miles east of Herzilya and about a mile and a-half west of Qalqilya, there are about 35 unmarked graves of Jews whom the Turks exiled from Yafo and Tel-Aviv but who, upon reaching Kfar Saba, drank bad well water and died. No one in Kfar Saba knew who they were and, being in the middle of WWI with the Ottoman Turks in control, there was no way of identifying them. They community took responsibility for them and buried them in unmarked graves in what then was the only cemetery in the small farming community.

Throughout the millennia of human existence, human beings have buried their neighbors and relatives according to the traditions handed down to them. Burying (or other ways of honoring) one’s dead is as human and as natural as eating and drinking. It is just something that is done. Looking back thousands of years in literature of all cultures it is assumed that even in war, one will get the opportunity to bury one’s dead. When cease fires or armistices are signed the first thing done is to exchange the dead allow the other side to give their soldiers a proper burial.

On October 7, 2023 Hamas kidnapped not only people who were still alive, they kidnapped bodies. These body snatchers understood that while Israelis follow the millennia old tradition of human beings, they need not pay attention. This was not a new thing for them. Since 2014 they have held the bodies of two soldiers hostage. Hezbollah did the same thing in 2006 where they killed three soldiers and took their bodies hostage. Neither would even give information about them to their families. Terrorists will never act as human beings have acted as they consider themselves beyond common decency.

What the unmarked graves in the Kfar Saba military cemetery tell us is that no one should be left without a proper burial – it is inhuman and each of us has a responsibility to bury their dead. The anonymous farmers of Kfar Saba from over 100 years ago understood that responsibility and buried the 35 anonymous Jews who died in their town. They took responsibility to the most human of activities.

My good friend, Simcha Goldin, whose son Hadar, was killed and snatched into Gaza in 2014 during the Obama-UN cease fire has said “those who don’t redeem their dead will abandon their wounded and desert their living”. He has stated this over the last 11 years in his criticisms of the Israeli government for not doing what was needed to bring his son to a proper burial. The Israeli government is certainly guilty of abandoning Hadar as they stood afraid of making that most human of demands thinking it would prevent a war. Instead, it led to the most horrific day in Israeli history. “Humanitarian for humanitarian” has been the cry of the Goldin family for 11 years and yet the fear of Hamas and the fear of “what the world will say” has prevented it from even demanding, let alone succeeding, in bringing Hadar back. The family has been accused of being warmongers when in fact, following their moral imperative would have saved untold lives.

The West too, is to blame for this as they, in spite of their paying lip service to “humanitarian law”, ignore basic common decency.

Today is Memorial Day in Israel where there are no sales and no BBQ’s. We mourn the soldiers buried in the cemeteries. This goes to remind us that bringing back the dead for burial is not less important than bringing back those who are still alive. Does this mean that it is not more urgent to return those still alive? No – this means that bringing back the dead should not be part of any negotiation – it should just be done.

This, according to Simcha is a moral imperative such that no “tikkun”, no rebuilding of the country’s moral fabric can happen until all have been given their proper burial. I will extend that to the West who denies its own heritage by allowing Hamas, Hezbollah and so many Islamist terrorists get away with what no human society has allowed.

It is not so difficult to force the evil ones to allow others to bury their dead. It is a moral failure and a failure of will. Humanitarian for humanitarian is a simple equation.

What Simcha said about the country is true about the world. No “tikkun” will happen, morality will not be rejuvenated until this simple act is done.

A country – a culture, a society, a world – that does not redeem its dead, will abandon its sick and wounded and desert its living.